As a Deer

Encouragement for anyone that is going through circumstances where you are being tested for the right words by God, more than others are aware of. Keep on living before His eyes!

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God works out all things for good

I feel like I need to wait a while to see how this unfolds, but right now I have the peace that makes me think about how fortunate I am to know God. I am patient and still, not thinking about anything but God. So I can start sharing what has been happening without fear.

I've been so excited to share this, without anything even happened yet, that's how profoundly real God's presence has been with me.

I must be filled with the Spirit. The experience left me thinking "I am loved, God has recognized me, I am seen and heard and appreciated" I was planning on heading to Tauranga with Steve, but we had just had a conversation that showed me I was going to be leaving for Tauranga - in the morning without him, God gave me the faith to move mountains. I am loved, God has seen, heard and acknowledged me. If anyone else says any differently, who cares? my trust is in something real and concrete. Not only did I know it, I felt like everyone needed to hear this good news - God is real! How secure am I? If I am whole-hearted and love Him, that is everything. He treasures my heart, he is with me everywhere! I've been contending in the Spirit more than I ever have before, and won some great victories, also made some blunders however the most important thing is being whole-heartedly abandoned to God. He shares me stuff that he has in His heart.

This is why when I came to my parents to tell them I'm not going back to Oxford, and I have a financial debt to pay off - even though I had not heard about it - I had a smile on my face. To be fair, I had heard about it - before december. But it came as a shock after the phone hung up (I'm just being honest) You see, God is really real to me, and the only thing that I think about is God, who I love incredibly. I suppose I could be angry, or even anxious about the change in circumstances but I am not. If I am put in a circumstance that makes God get the glory, then who am I to say "Why is this happening?" - This is just incredible. I should be thinking about it, I should be running off in 100 different directions, but I am not, and this is a mark of God on me. How do I even know what is going to happen tomorrow? I had made a vow to God, that I would say to the people who need to know "God has made it all for good" - in as much as I was able - but now God has done one better, I've been looking for a miracle now I've found it.

You see, I'm going to wait and be still about how God is going to provide financially, as well as confirm me to be a businessman in His Kingdom. I don't quite know how that's going to work out, but I guess I will let God decide that - His presence is my anchor. I totally know what it must be like to be going through turmoil - because I couldn't do it by myself I would be going off in 100 different directions. Whatever God wants to do in me, it's going to come by resting idly in His presence and focusing on the first and greatest commandment, and he is not unjust to reward me for everything that I do while I am here. This poses the question: "In what way does He relate to me? How do I experience the deep things of Jesus Christ?"

I know that it's God's peace because every day I keep on just wanting to sit idle and treasure God's presence more - it's the reason I'm alive - If God totally changes the whole year, the plans I have, then that is good - I am perfectly content with God doing such a thing. His presence is better than my plans. In closing, don't live for yesterday or tomorrow, or today, but live for God's presence. And if He asks you to give something up, don't be slow about it, he's got better things for you - Himself. I want to be an advocate for God's self-sufficiency. He totally satisfies me in every way

Kindness leading to Repentance

There is a scripture in Romans 2:4

"Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?" NKJV

I spent the day yesterday playing video games and felt horrible about it. Actually it doesn't quite go like that. Late night, unaware of what is going on around me. Let me give you some advice: "Let him who glories, glory in the Lord" I want to be far more honest, humble, and real about it but I really struggle with that.

So in the morning while talking with Him, I heard the Lord say something. I knew it was Him, but it sounded like he was pulling His punches. He said "What if you don't test me" to which I replied "I am going to test you!" Because this is an issue of Him keeping covenant with me, I can be as politically uncorrect as possible. Basically, His kindness emboldened me to test Him more. To which I felt horrible about what I had done, and apologized, and he accepted my apology. God was pulling His punches because He knew that I do love Him. As I sit here writing, the favor of God is on me, and I can choose now to follow Him, what a glorious feeling!

This makes me feel rather interesting. The thing is, God does not share His glory with another one. When David was repentant about Bathsheba, the motivation was a pursuit of God's glory. You might ask me, "So why can you be free after doing something that grieves the Lord's heart?" to which I would reply "Because he's better" what stuns me most about David is that He chose to go through the whole ordeal. Yeah, that's right. But the underlying theme here is God's love for me, because I don't think I would place the most importance on anything I've done, but what God has done for me!

When you are repentant like this, there are no "what ifs" because you are sincere and apologetic which means there's no worldly sorrow attached to it. I feel a little like Zion, whose unfaithful behavior grieves her, that her Lord still receives her. One thought that I had during the whole thing was this: "I'm no different from anyone else, like Peter, I cry out to the Lord 'depart from me, Lord, for I am a wicked and sinful man'" to which he has graciously shown that His love covers, purifies, protects and helps me even when I am weak. For anyone not convinced of his love, I just want to encourage you, that you are not like them. God has set his seal of love on you. He does not see you the way that He sees the world. For anyone that does not know His love, Jesus Christ has demonstrated God's love, when you make Him your ruler, you become His (because He knows that you want Him even before you come)

This makes me feel a mixture, of happiness, joy, and overwhelming love. This is the way of God which leads to repentance. To finish up, I would like to say this, I do feel horrible about it, NOW.

Holidaying in Paradise

Hello there!

I'm excited to share what has been happening this last month, after Christmas time rolled over and I left for Whangarei on the 5th of January. I've been fabulously blessed by God.

So from the 5th of January I spent just over 2 weeks in Whangarei. I was staying in a rural part of Whangarei which has amazing sunsets! However, on the 15th of January Steve and I came to a Kids camp organized by the local churches, it was held at a camp called "Holy Ground" in Parua Bay, out near the Whangarei Heads, this also has much to gape at! It is only two minutes away from the beach! After finishing the camp, everyone was feeling tired, but God had different plans for me! So I headed off to Tauranga on Monday the 23rd of January to spend a few days up there and goto the prayer house.

I have a new family in Tauranga now. Shimshon and Heather and their lovely daughter aynai-el! I stayed with them for just a few days, before going to stay at the DTS house in Bethlehem. On Friday we had a meal together! what a totally amazing experience! (I mean spending time with them)

One day I was praying that I would meet the New Zealand Outreach Team! Well God answered my prayers! Mette and Jesse's team were in the House of Prayer on Friday morning! Then I was able to hang out with them on Friday afternoon, before going out for dinner at Shimshon and Heather's house.

While at the Kid's camp (at Holy Ground) I caught up with Pete McArthur! This happened only 2 days after the camp started! Sarah also came round to visit the camp after a few days too!

While up in Tauranga, I visited a family connected with the House of Prayer (THOP). So on Thursday I went out for lunch to visit Andre and his family, who come from Holland. Now, would you believe that it was a divine appointment. God wants to interact with us in our emotions, showing us things by the Spirit, and stun us with the things he shows us. The reason that we don't is because we're uncomfortable - we have put up walls saying "I don't want to relate to God in that way" - because of experiences in our childhood. By God's grace I am saying yes to what He wants to show me. That means letting our imaginations flow and being hospitable - to show others what we're receiving from Him. By God's grace I will share plenty more of this.

In General I have had a season of encounter with God and hopefully with others whom I am slowly opening upto, but the good news is that God is on my side and wants me to grow in both love and capacity to lead others in love. This is why I have titled this "Holidaying in Paradise"

There is a song...

There is a song sung in Heaven. It goes like this:
"He has prevailed!" (Rev 2:10; 5:5; 7:10)

To hear those words. This is all the encouragement you will ever need, because He has prevailed. The more that you allow His victory to pervade your life, the more this anthem will sing true to you. Even when you are put to shame, ridiculed, slandered, on trial, and sentenced to death you will not be overcome, nor depart from the truth. He was faithful until death (Php 2:8) He commands us to do the same (Rev 2:10) I'm reminded that "He is Faithful" he will lead and guide you perfectly. Most importantly, His faithfulness is because He loves you.