A day unlike any other

Then He also said to him who had invited Him,

"When you give a dinner or a supper do not ask your friends,

your brothers, your relatives, nor rich neighbours,

lest they also invite you back, and you be repaid.

And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you
for you shall be repaid at the resurrection of the just"

and he said, "Blessed is he who shall eat bread in the

kingdom of God!" (Luke 14:12,14,15)

Hi everyone,

I would like to thank everyone who came along to celebrate my 31st birthday. Something to be remembered! and for the people that could not make it, or if you are wanting to know what happened. Read on! I promise you it won't be long! 

A lot of people came to my party this year! We basically filled up the entire restaurant. It's a small place for eating all sorts of mains, on Colombo St, Christchurch, called Samurai Bowl. I've never been to this Japanese restaurant before, and it worked out so well!

We even had some guests that I had not met before!Logan and Kate's Sister Beth came with Kate who is a good friend of mine. It made me think of the blessedness of being able to have a birthday and celebrate it with everyone. This is because it's really upto the host to make people feel welcome, and no one does this more than God - He after all can do whatever He wants with His riches. I live to be like my Father. It seems that this has been a theme about the party in general.

We arrived about six oclock and the dinner was started about 6:30 just in time for my brother Andrew to arrive. We talked amongst each other for a good time, and when my brother said that He would be a bit later we decided to start ordering our meals. He actually arrived just as most people were getting their meals.

It's been a fantastic experience and one that I'm not going to forget. My intention is to be in relationship with others and experience the JOY that God does over knowing and loving His family. So if you're reading this, I'm loving what God is doing for me at the moment! He really is the best prize in the world. I actually realized that I need this - i need love. and to love others. So I'm letting you know that i've changed and I'm not going to live independently any longer - unless that independence is what allows God to trust me with things. I could not do this without Him. That means that I'm excited to get to know you, and if God leads, to be a part of your life.

To really know you I need to change too. May God pour out His Holy Spirit, and may we know His will, His will is life. So whether I'm obeying God for amazing things, or just day to day eventualities, my future is in His hands. But what a paradox that is! appropriating the promises that God has given us through Jesus, and living it out in our lives.

May you know God's richest reward for you and know that following Him - knowing Him, pleasing Him and believing that He has reward for you - will lead you into right relationship with Him. This really is the only way to live

If you would like to know more, I am not going to be on facebook any longer, but I will still receive emails. If you want to be in contact with me just send me a message and I will tell you what's happening for me now.

YWAM Update: A Man After God's Own Heart

Hello there!

I feel like I need to begin with a simple story over dinner tonight. The snowboarder school just arrived on base here at Oxford, and I had the opportunity to sit down next to Sarah tonight who comes from Canada. I am currently holding onto a promise in the Bible: "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind"

I asked if she had support back home to be here, and she let me know that she indeed did! That was how she got here. My support situation is a bit different, I was able to let her know that I try to keep updates consistent so that you know what is happening. A few things have happened recently, that I have tried my best to let you know about, so that you can pray for me (but more importantly, just because I want to let you know!)

My support is made up of people. I don't have the problem that others do of having to go back to their own country to let people know what is going on, and what my needs are. The point I'm making and what I want you to know is this: God performed a miracle for me to get me back to Oxford, it is you! I am just on the receiving end of God's abundant blessings, that happens to allow me to be back in Oxford perfect timing for this school to start.

Another thing I was thinking about was, "how do I put into words what is happening to me?" - how do I inspire others, with what has happened for me? I thank God that you love me and I do not need to buy or sell to get to convince you. My defence is the truth! honest! The only reason I want you into my life is because I want you to know!

With God by my side, I have been able to take my time to answer the more important questions in life, like "what was it that really happened to me in Israel?" It has taken me a year to answer that. Another one is, "where are my plans taking me?" Or as James puts it "If it is the Lords will, we will do this or that?" God is leading me to goto Queenstown. But he's shown me that Oxford is home to me, and that I want to prepare as best I know how, by letting my heart rest, and learn how to teach.

While at church yesterday, I stepped out of my comfort zone, to testify of how God had opened the door to come back to Oxford, immediately afterwards I was thinking "oh I'm learning!" I need others desperately! this is because I was stepping out to speak in the Spirit. So exciting! yet so assuring too. What helps me in these times is to quiet down, listen for His voice, and recenter on Himself.

So a few weeks ago, when my friend Lara came round, I realized that I had been holding onto my own strength to handle my life. It came out like gushing waters, the result of which, I yielded to God. Since then, he's opened the doors to be back at Oxford.

I guess a question that arises in my heart is this "why would I be this open and honest with anyone?" to which maybe I don't need to say anything. But in the Spirit of God I have to say "I am not going to loose, no one is going to keep me from getting the truth out"

Funny how God can mould our circumstances to meet His ends - for which I hope you understand - they are all Him. I have lost everything because I have dared to live only for God's glory, and I am free! Dare to be outrageously different from what is "wise" It says in the word "you ought to become fools that you may become wise" - and this is what I leave with you.

I trust that I have not cast pearls before swine, because I know that the precious things of my heart are held in God, and they cannot be taken away from that place. I am daring to live as a man after God's own heart - and He says things to me that He will not share with anyone else

YWAM Update: We Must Go!

Hello everyone,

Grace and peace be with you in abundance. I am hailing from the home of my parents in Christchurch, New Zealand. With some exciting news! I wanted to share with you, that I will be moving to Queenstown. Why is that, you ask?

This weekend I invited my friend Lara to come for breakfast and to share with her what was happening - God had used her to confirm a direction change to go to Queenstown. However, it wasn't to be! not in the way that I expected anyway.

You see, God had to show me that he is everything that I want, everything that I need, all my passion, desire, delight, sustenance, pleasure, joy, gladness, I'm out of my mind to be saying this!

WE MUST GO!

It's not enough to be sitting in your comfortable surroundings! it's not enough to be given what you want! It has to end with suffering and God's acknowledgement of the goodness of such a thing. Of suffering that reminds you of Jesus, not just reminds, has Him. In other words, "That I may Gain Him, that I may be found in Him"

You who are in your comfortable surroundings are making yourselves enemies of God. He does not condone comfort for the sake of people going to hell without a word

If this makes you tremble, then good, God wants to break your life apart, and show you that he is better than what you gave up, he wants to demonstrate His love for you. if you've never been through trials, then you will complain. But the truth is, no one can say that, not anyone in the world can say that they have never been through trials.

It's just that out in the world, the people will be like the "Lady of the Kingdoms" saying "I will be a lady forever" - totally disregarding all the persecution her lifestyle is bringing. Those who are lovers of the world are enemies of God.

This is his mercy to his church, that he wakes them up out of totally being no Godly good. He wants everyone, regardless of where they come from, adopting a martyr mentality.

Did you make the connection?
I started with God the Father, demonstrating and approving His love for us, by showing his acceptance of the satisfaction of His wrath in Christ. It says "It is finished!" in both John 19:30 and Revelation 16:17

This is then, if we are His sons and daughters, echoed, simply "He forgave me of my sin" now that I am a Son "I have made the choice that I want to give everything to Him because I believe what He has done to be more worth than anything else in life" - then when we are persecuted, tortured, imprisoned, God is giving approval of it, that ought to be everything because He is our Father and He is pleased.

Let me say this: He is worth it. Every painful emotion, every hurt, every circumstance, every confused thought, every moment of perplexity, distress, discomfort, disillusionment, just to be put into the right shape as a vessel and image-bearer of Christ. I esteem him greater riches than the treasures of Egypt (Hebrews 11:26)

My heart is not offended at anything that he has brought along my path, This is the power of his mercy. I could not do it without Him. 

Let me exercise what I believe just happened. Everyone needs to hear this! It can't be stopped! It needs to get out there! This is life! I was seized with fear over what people would think of this! Get over it! I just experienced the greatest pleasure in utter weakness. These are not in contradiction! 

YWAM Update: Do you Believe in Miracles?

Hello everyone,

This comes to you from Christchurch, while I am visiting my parents house. I rather like that term, because the idea of visiting means it is not my permanent residence, but that is a kind of a paradox, I will tell you what I mean.

I had a strong feeling that I was supposed to be in Oxford for the week, I remember being sick in my stomach while getting prepared to go back to Oxford on the 6th of May, but it wasn't dissuading me from fetching a ride with Deb out to Oxford (she had been in Christchurch visiting family - so fetching a ride with her was easy enough) But I had looked in my bank account and found no money there, but I knew I was supposed to be there. While sitting down at the morning tea table with Elmer we had a conversation in which God had meant for it to happen because not having any money to my name I was able to encourage Elmer to be here - because I knew I was also supposed to be here.
Actually by that time I still had a sick stomach, and thought to myself, "How can I be here for working? when I am unable to even sit down without feeling sick" However I was made well to work, but also to attend the lectures, which had been on my heart to do.

Later the week the opportunity came up to really share what was on my heart, that my identity does not come from what i do. NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER! Isn't that the heart beat of Sons? In fact, though I did not know Elmer very well, I was really able to converse with Him, and find out a bit about him. This had been my prayer to God earlier in the week - In fact, every day God was making my contemplation bear fruit. So it would seem, that God had something in store for me, being at Oxford related to the teaching I was listening to. It was pertinant to what I was going through.
This should be enough to convince any sceptic of what God has in fact been doing, but I have not even begun yet!

I ought to say, this is the heart beat of a little child. because God has said it before, that the thing that He values in me is being a little child. I need to hear it from God first, then when people testify about it to me, the feelings rush right in.

I guess this makes me have to declare a few things

1. I do not have any money, this is one of the blessings of being God's child (which I am one)
2. I do not know where I am going, I came to Christchurch only because I had to move out.
3. I want to be connected with God's heart, this is more important to me than my fragile circumstances
4. I will flourish in this place, because God makes me to flourish

I want to clarify the first and second points. I mean, that I am in the place that God has for me, regardless of any plans to be contrary to that. I know that He wants me to be there. This is the only reason that I am here - because what matters most is that I am most about what God has for me. What i mean is, Do not forbid me of my boast!

God has not stopped with me because I have turned my back on Him, or even forgotten what He had promised to me, before I left Oxford, which is that I am going back to Christchurch because I am His bride. He is committed to doing me good, even when I am not. That has to be the best news ever!
I'm a little child, I cannot be thinking about plans and decisions and anything like that!

After I left Oxford, God has been bringing things into clarity, namely what is on my heart for victory and faithfulness and trials. I had to go through a trial not having answers for "where am I going?" and "what work are you looking for?"

That is why I say, being at my parents house is a paradox, because the truth is, I will flourish wherever I am. I need to say, that I still intend to go on a journey with Steve, because God has said it.
Don't you see the miracle God has done? That he has called the things that are not, as though they were. He told me the very thing that tonight I would have an ah ha moment on, that I am His Bride whom He loves. This has only matured my love for Him and convinced me that what He has for me is good (which I know to be true!) And it's assured me of His promise that I will be going with Steve on a journey. Be a part of this adventure with me!

YWAM Update: Dreams, Visions, and Seers

A few months ago, while I was in Whangarei, visiting my friend Steve who did the Around the World School last year, I found a book which changed my life. This book is called The Modern Seer by Jim Driscoll. I was planning on contacting my parents and catching up to let them know how my trip was going, so while having the conversation, I mentioned how I had started reading the book. It is basically this: God doesn't want to just speak to us, he wants to interact with us, and while this may be hard to understand, God wants us to be children again who are fascinated and filled with life. There are just 2 ways mentioned in the book which stop us from interacting with God in this way. The first is traumatic experiences in our childhood related to dreams, or anything of that sort, the second is when we have stepped out in what we see and people have not received it - both lead to saying to God "I do not want to know you in this way" I understand that there maybe a lot of "If's and questions" that arise from this, however I just want to get this out there, for your sakes, so that there is honesty and common understanding.

 I said that God wants us to be children again who are fascinated and filled with life. While I was with God this morning I ended up reading a passage from the Book of Ezekiel, Chapter 16, where it describes the Love of God towards Jerusalem, His Bride. There is a phrase there at the beginning of the Chapter, saying "Cause her" [to know her abominations] Pay very close attention to what is being said here. This is an informative instruction. I used to hear that this occured alot in the book of Ezekiel, all I've ever heard has been, "these are redundant words" (putting it in a simple way) actually they are not redundant. Do you hear what is being said here? Just like when I read this book, the Modern seer, God is himself saying "i want to informatively instruct you" in Spiritual Life. In other words, Ezekiel is really receiving pictures and visions, while in His body, that He can share with those he is to talk with. This is just one example.

This actually makes me ENJOY interacting with God in the ways he communicates with me. This actually changes the way I pray, relate and talk to God. Actually, it gives me a good reason not to think my own interests (like playing piano and reading the bible) are the best things I can do hear on earth, because IF I can relate to God in the Spirit (which is better by far) I should not think it strange that He makes relating to me far superior to anything I could do on earth. I have to say that I'm not being proud or arrogant when I say this, because the effect of hearing that I can actually relate to God - whether in the kitchen, on the toilet or in my bedroom - Absolutely everywhere! has been a far bigger appreciation towards God and what He does for me.

I just have to say, Jim's website - stir the water - I have not been able to do any exercises yet for lack of money, but I found his source material - The Book of Ezekiel! It's my studybook to interact with God in the Spirit (Colossians 1:8) By saying this, I am not suggesting that He does everything for money.

I would like to share some of the things that have happened at YWAM in the past few weeks. I have put up a few photos. In March we celebrated the Graduation of the Justice Discipleship Training School. God was using it to really solidify in me, that He really likes me - not for what I do! I have struggled with being accepted for who I am, not what I do, and praise the Lord! I am free of that! Do you know God likes You? He doesn't just Love you, He likes You! You are the one that He gets the most enjoyment from! That means, that I do not have to concern myself with anything except who He says I am. I am His Son and His Bonded One (Bride)

The last week of March, Juddy, Kent and I helped the Oxford Baptist Church set up their Easter Camp area, over at Spencer Park. we helped set up 4 large pavilions, and move the furniture, pool tables and table tennis (among other things) into these areas, each also had a lot of carpet to unroll.

While at Church on Sunday, 15th of April, God provided for me to go out to YWAM last week. On Saturday He gave me Joshua 3:5 which says "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow I am going to do wonders among You" So I believed it. The end of the service I was lead to ask for prayer, because God was doing something in my heart, and I wanted to be enabled to share it with others - my going forward for prayer was the first step of obedience. Then after I received prayer, I went to the back of the church, to find Robin! The first question that came out of her mouth was "So what's been happening" (I had a conversation with her, about 7 weeks before then) I laughed because, God had obviously surprised me with this - What I had wanted to share with Her, was exactly what had happened at the front of church - asking to be enabled to share it with others. As a result of the conversation, I was able to go to YWAM for the week, because God had provided the support.

This is all to say, my heart is really living by Faith, trusting in God's character for me, that He is my provider - and that my heart really is at home at YWAM. I think I'm just about ready to go on a journey.

My work buddies, while clearing the Prayer Walk of Non-Natives - basically Tangling Vines

Helping set up the Tents at Easter Camp

Up Above Craigieburn??? while 4-wheel driving

Funny photo of Steven Thorne

YWAM Update: Behind the Veil

I am celebrating a change in the title of my blog, with a change also in my lifestyle inspired by something God shared with me while reading the bible, in Isaiah 42:2

"He will not cry out, nor raise [His voice], Nor cause His voice to be heard in the street."

The insight was this, that Jesus the Son of Man, the Son of God, chose while he was on earth not to promote Himself. He didn't go round waving the Messiah flag and take for himself a Kingdom. He didn't so much as whisper.

What he did do, was NOT THAT. I also have the same view. However, Jesus is not inspired by the same as me - My desire in not promoting myself is because, I am following Him, and living my life according to how He lives. His desire, is simply, to demonstrate, so that I can follow.

He didn't promote Himself because in His heart He was holding out for my love. In Ephesians 5, it says that Jesus, being the leader, died first, this is because He is demonstrating how to follow Him, in laying down my life, because He loves me.

Why would I give a hoot what is happening on the outside, when on the inside, Behind the Veil, He sees my heart. He is beckoning me, giving me identity, by living my life before an audience of one, and His opinion is the only one that matters. In fact, it's better this way! I want to be moved in my heart when Jesus speaks to me, And I know it, because I've experienced this!

I can't tell exactly why I have made this decision, but one day while wrestling in my thoughts and heart, the light bulbed clicked on, and I realized that personally, Jesus is far better than life, that He's my exceeding JOY, and when I am living like this, I am safe and sound. I want to say, that I have TRUE JOY, which is coming from an intimate knowledge of God Himself demonstrated by the Love of Jesus Christ.

This is because He says personally "You have dove's eyes, BEHIND YOUR VEIL" this is a verse from Song of Songs. The phrase behind the veil comes from Jewish wedding custom that when the Husband has left to go prepare a place for His wife, She wears a veil, to show to the world around her, that She is waiting for Him Only, and also to anyone looking on, that's all that she's caught up in. It's demonstrating what is taking place behind what people see

This is the way that Jesus has been moving upon my heart in simply not living anymore on the outside, But only on the inside.

True JOY is when you have let go of the reins to everything, in embracing God with everything, but in that act it is really only a response, and SO, God is much glorified.

John Piper says:

"God is most glorified, when you are most satisfied IN HIM"

So I'm endeavoring to live a lifestyle which is upside down, but proves God's wisdom, being Cross-centred, Christ-Glorifying, and God-Honouring. in other words,

I'm living Behind the Veil

(It's not that I have given up and said "everything is out of my hands" but it's saying "God has a far better plan than I do") This is the only way to live properly!

I've included some photos from my trip north, during January, which I hope you enjoy!

YWAM Update: Dreaming

I would like to hail you from the fresh North Cantabrian town of Oxford, home to two wonderful chefs. I would like you to know that I have been stunned, and taken, by the events of the last few weeks. I have put up some photos, all of which have happened in our base of YWAM. A few weeks ago, two new schools arrived, both the backpackers, and the Justice school. We have students from America, Canada, Switzerland, Denmark, Holland, Sweden, Austria, England, and Finland. They arrived, just in time, to become preparation for the YWAM National Gathering, where we hosted people from the oakridge base in North North Island, Mangere, Tauranga (Marine Reach, and Impact World Tour) and Matamata.

I will comment on the 4 photos to the right. (top to bottom)
Hopping in a van with some students from Backpackers (Sam, Nate, Karissa and Seth) to goto the city
With food in our hands, hoping to bless someone in Sumner
A homeless man(!) actually, we had a dress up night which is called "Love Feast" - part of Angels and Mortals week, where we bless someone with random secret acts of grace.
Dressed up as Luigi, with Rebecca dressed up as Danny Zuko (gnarly!)

There are so many stories, too many to recount here, where God showed up, imparted direction and vision, and gave me a thirst for more of Him. It feels strange to not share about it everywhere. But what I would really like to share today is what he's done in my heart in the last day.

After I came back from Israel, I was invited by Colleen Robb to speak about my experience, at a church service in November, well, this weekend it happened! Though I haven't met any of them before (Colleen and her team were there for it) I felt right at home and welcomed everyone to fellowship. It's really sparked me unexpectedly, as I was sharing, in teaching more of my experience, that I get blessed by more revelation.

Unexpectedly, it took me back to Israel. I'm so glad that my life is not in my hands, because the whole message of Dreaming had completely left my memory. To be reminded of it, was, to say the least, a breath of fresh air, and relief. Actually, it's the most stressful thing to think about, if you look at it from the perspective of someone who finds it difficult to sleep. You cannot tell someone to dream - when I came back from Israel I had the predicament of trying to describe this, to people, when what I'm trying to impart, is dreams. Not only is this the most important thing to me in existance now, but it's also the only thing that matters.

This is the hardest thing for me to communicate, inspiring people to dream that I'm just not going to try!

That makes me think of Father. (God, that is) I go up and I just recline, like a baby, feeding from my Mother's breast, and I am filled! with ecstacy. Because I have all that I need. You just changed my paradigm (I'm thinking of my friend David!) You just won - invincible. You just ruined me. I'm bought, I'm totally there.

I will be leaving to goto Tauranga, as lead by the Spirit, not knowing what is going to happen, but glorying in God in the knowledge that I'm going, and that He knows what is going to happen. Fun-filled, enjoyable, surprising, exciting life - that is my Father. I will be leaving on the 18th of November, to stay for a week- He makes all my steps to walk in peace, when I know what He has done I am left speechless, and full of His love.

YWAM Update: Nothing catches you by surprise!

This will be my 2 year reunion to being sent out to YWAM for the Earthcare DTS in Oxford (October, 2009) I'm filled up to the brim and overflowing, the perfect definition of rest. I feel like I'm in Heaven today

While praying this morning, I committed my finances to God saying I want you to lead me in this, because I want to hand this over to you afresh, turning from self-reliance and dependence. So it was a surprise to come to church and hear the preacher speak about the same thing! No one catches God by surprise! I would like to share the whole story with you.

I walked back to the YWAM base and decided I would go upto the prayer room to study Psalms, however a few people were heading down to the farmer's market in Oxford which runs every sunday. They were planning on going, but I thought there was no time, and I wanted to study the bible anyway. When I got up into the prayer room, one of the backpacker students named Sonja was up there. When I sat down, I remembered, all of a sudden, "this is a reason for rejoicing! God is victorious! Celebrate!" then I wanted to go down to the Farmer's market to spend money. While at the Farmer's market, I kept on telling everyone how God had given me excitement to spend my money.

You see, the whole experience was a setup. It took me straight back to when I was in Israel, when God had said "It's on my tab, go crazy and get whatever you want!" I just want to let you know what it feels like. It's like, He's giving me an unconditional yes! This kind of response is what I have come to expect from God. Directly following the time I spent in Israel, I took Him at his word. He said "I'm going to provide for all your outreach fees before the end of the month" I'm not supposed to go ahead from Him, I'm supposed to be walking with Him, and when I obey what He says, it's a delight. I feel a little pressure coming on as I write this.

The more that God provides, the more I say to God "I fully surrender!" at my weakest point is my strongest. I want to draw attention to a man that is mentioned in the bible. His name is Moses. He had been chosen by God to lead the nation of Israel into the Promised Land. While he lead, God was with them. He would lead them by a pillar of cloud by day, and a pillar of fire by night. It says that He was a consuming fire among them, and they trembled at hearing His voice, so much they said "we cannot bear it, from this point on do not talk to us directly" It says that they rebelled against God numerous times, and that God, I quote, said "I will destroy Israel as a nation before me and make you Moses into a nation" He must have had a high opinion of Moses. But Moses said "If you destroy them from before you as a nation the nations will say amongst themselves 'God delivered Israel from Egypt only to destroy them in the wilderness' and his name would be blasphemed" From this point on, Israel was safe. But fire would break out against them, and serpents, and destroying angels, and plagues.

What God has done in history, He will do in the future. There will be a time of anguish upon the earth where plagues are poured out on the earth globally, and the interesting power dynamics of being led by God will be openly manifest. The place is not to look backwards, it's to look forwards. If Jesus is coming again, this has to be the most foremost thing on my mind, not the last. For this reason, because I was made for this, for His return.

My dream is to raise up a generation of leaders. What a future! this is my heart for the schools that have just arrived here on base at Oxford, Backpackers and Justice. This means I'm more about the team effort, I just can't do it without others - we need each other to remind of the promises and good testimonies of God.

I really know that God has chosen me - because He's doing everything! That means I can't do anything! I will turn to Him and ask Him what's next. And I just have to look and see what he's done for me. That's actually a promise He gave me while on the DTS 2 years ago. He gets all the attention now! Bless you heaps and I want to catch up!

YWAM Update: New Schools and New Thrills

Hello everyone!
Coming to you from the shelters of family life in Christchurch! Here are a few things that have happened in the last two weeks. I have finished my BLS training! score! I surprised alot of people by arriving to dinner clean shaven! I moved into the Guys flat instead of living in the Hyatt (with girls) The hyatt is a group of recycled offices that were converted into bedrooms (they are prefab buildings) and I watched the departing snowboarder school leave for outreach. We have 3 teams going, Malaysia/Turkey, Queenstown/India, and Jordan. The Queenstown team will be staying for a night on base before leaving to goto India (in about two weeks?)

While we were sitting down in the guys flat we had a talk about what rooms we would stay in. We begun praying to find out if God was to say anything about it, and then began to discuss. While praying I felt like my flatmate, Kent, shouldn't have to move if it came to it. The other thought that came to mind was "I would like to be in the same room as Matt" (who had just arrived) The less obvious would be, that I would have to stay in the same room because of beds - since the bed that I was sleeping on can't be moved. So when we were discussing where everyone would go, I was able to be honest. Everyone of the little nudgings was answered, and we are now in the places we all want to be. While discussing, it was funny how everyone got the places they wanted. I had thought "I don't want Kent to move, because I want to serve him" and that, in addition to staying in the flat, was answered.

All the students that were supposed to leave on Outreach did - miraculously at the last minute everyone's outreach fees were paid for! This really became obviously amazing when I thought about how each would be going away very soon. God really is in no pressure for us to move until it's the right time. I managed to get into Oxford very early on the Monday morning, catching a ride to Rangiora, and managing to get to the worship in the morning just after it begun at 9am. When I got there, I was free as a bird, like I didn't care what people would say, I am free! free from peoples expectations. It was a peculiar feeling! Then I started dancing and joyfully singing. By the end of the meeting, I realized God loves me. That means what it says. This is rest.

What you do when you don't have to do anything is what happened for the rest of the weekend, preparing fallow ground, and waiting for the hand of God to pick me up and take me somewhere. As I write this it strikes me how amazing God's love is, it must be very ferocious. This past week, staff have arrived, and started BLS training for another season, I will not be joining them this time, as I have already finished it. The staff are coming in from all over, whether base staff, or joining the Backpackers or Justice schools. We are all a big family here! Students will be arriving close to the beginning of October, when the schools start. We are looking ahead to a Spirit-filled and restful time on base here - sustained by God's glory. Also, I will be applying to staff the next Around the World School in February,2012, this is where God is leading me to lately. O the joys of praying in my greatest dream!

Loving my brethren

I have been touched in my heart. I was praying for Backpacker students and I was lead to goto Revelation 3:

"I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, [that] the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see."

While reading this I was lead by God to goto Matthew 25:31-46

I had to ask the question of God, why are you leading me to this scripture? Neither have anything to do with this student.

While contemplating the verses in Matthew 25 the penny dropped:

"And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did [it] to one of the least of these My brethren, you did [it] to Me.'

Because if you love my ethnic brethren, you are loving me.

They are not just God's people, they are God's people. They are chosen by Him.

The treatment that you have of His people, is the treatment that you measure of Jesus, at the end of the age, when He comes in glory He is going to say "What did you do for my brethren?" unequivocally the same as saying "Do you love me?" The Man who sits on the throne of glory will set the judgment straight, with merciful judgment. Because He is also the Man who it says "will give eternal life to any that He chooses"

He chose them to be His, He entered into covenant with them.

He sent His only Son for them!

This is unconditional love!

In Deuteronomy 7 it says:

"For you [are] a holy people to the LORD your God; the LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth. The LORD did not set His love on you nor choose you because you were more in number than any other people, for you were the least of all peoples; but because the LORD loves you, and because He would keep the oath which He swore to your fathers, the LORD has brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you from the house of bondage, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt."

We are confident then, that the kind of love that He has for Israel is peculiar. He doesn't love Israel the same way that He loves everyone else! He never intended it to be the same kind of love that He loves the rest of the world with. Every one who is loved of Him is loved peculiarly (or uniquely) this one is unique and special, precious, a treasure. This is the way that God loves us. Wouldn't that make you feel like loving everyone else in the same way, too? Saying "You need this love, too!"

YWAM Update: Father's Day!

Hello everyone,

I'm feeling rather free at the moment. To explain, I have to share what has happened today. A phone call, a text message, and I decided I would like to come for a steam engine ride with the Weka Pass Railway in Waipara. So, at 10 oclock in the morning my brother Andrew arrived to pick us up (my brothers and I) and take a drive to Waipara. For anyone that has not heard of this, there are train tracks from Waipara (think of the mud house cafe surrounded by wineries) to Waikari. The journey takes roughly half an hour, however on the way there we are invited to get off the train, and watch it come around the corner. There were alot of people that took advantage of the time - including us, taking videos and photos of the whole experience. If you are into steam trains, make sure that you pop on for a ride (it runs roughly twice a month - search it up on the internet under "Weka Pass Railway")

So what makes me so free at this precise time? I realized that I'm the only one that knows God created all that I am seeing. While watching the mountainside, I was able to say "God how amazing is this place - This is really God's own" it makes me think that these simple excursions are what God intends us to delight in. My mind darts off into the way that the world was made, that He has sovereign control over the world, that I know Him. And that I'm financially free. What a wonderfully wonderful feeling. I mean to do exactly what I want to do, because I am not at the beck and call of money. This is where real multiplication begins. Today, Nathan Sinclair is choosing to live in the blessing, provision, and love of Father God.

Also, I'm bound by conscience and the desires of my heart to choose what is better, namely, God. This is where my freedom really comes from. I'm choosing the better part, which is to say with my mouth, God is better. Jesus you are worthy, you have won my heart. Because the freedom we have, it's a choice. But that choice is only because we see that we would rather be doing one thing or another thing. So then the choice that we made, bows down to our impulses (it's not the opposite). So then when God says "I want you to worship me" he is asking for us to choose what is better in our esteem. He wants us to be excited by Him, to love Him, to choose Him, to praise Him. Just like someone that raves about His favourite obsession.

If all this is what I have gained from the trip then that's wonderful. Because my Savior is Magnificent! I would do anything for Him because He's my superior pleasure!

As a matter of interest, I was working outside alot this week, we have been planting new plants around the base. The weather has made this very easy (it was sunny the entire time) - apart from the sprinkling of snow that came on Friday! Also watering the plants. We will be having the rest of the Backpackers, and Justice school staff arrive in the next week and they will begin staff training until the students arrive at the beginning of October. This marks two years of involvement at YWAM! There will also be a national YWAM gathering happening at our base in October, meaning the base is going to be packed full!

It will be super important to keep up the maintenance duties, and praying for unity among staff and students, that we would be like a family and that God would pervade the Spirit of Unity in encountering His person, and His people. Pray that we will have a large harvest on base as God gets to do what He wants. No better freedom! I'm super stoked for having your support and prayers. If you would like to find out more, I would love to catch up, honest!

YWAM Update: Hilarious Giving

Hello, everyone!

Coming home to you, safe and sound! now in Christchurch. It feels rather incredible that 2 weeks ago I was in Jerusalem, living in the old city. The things that people have said of it seem to be sticking, but I also know that God is bigger than what people say. The proof is here today.

I'm kinda surprised to be sharing this story, for the story that I want to share with you. Because it is one of those stories that is dear to my heart, God release the freedom to live this way all the time! So what is it, you ask? Let us think on some lyrics from a song that I'm singing.

YWAM Update: Anointed for Discipleship

Here I am, coming from the New Imperial Hotel in Jerusalem. Yes, that is in Israel! The weather is hot (shorts and sandals weather) in the heat of Summer. While in the city there are cool breezes, however the moment you go out into the wilderness the protection leaves and you have to plaster yourself with sunscreen (or you'll get burnt) I am here as part of a Christian Tour around the Holy Land, joining a bible study school graduate on the Mount of Olives, Though we have been visiting many places in a very short amount of time, the trip is not rushed, God is still speaking very clearly. The biggest stresses we face are the oppressive environment (I really feel it in my devotions with Jesus) The whole thing gives me much quality analysis, and clarity to think of what is really important. I am really going to miss my family here, who I haven't seen for a few months, and who will part ways in a very short amount of time. I take that as being emotionally stable.

The most unexpected (yet not without a little regularity) is God has asked me to lead. Here's a little experience of how I'm feeling about it at the moment. I find myself in a precarious position, God asking me to persevere with all my heart but also, with loose hands, committing it all to Him. Did you know that God has a gift of leadership! Those who are gifted to lead, that people follow, even those that follow you do not know why they follow you, but they do so, even with silly ideas. That sounds like the leadership that God gives.

I want everyone to be released into the plans God has for them. Im excited, because we are about to head to church after this, I know that I will receive from God. In a way, that plan cannot be resisted, it is forced upon you, without a clue why? But because it comes from God, you obey. the thing that makes me believe it comes from God is because I want to submit, and I know that I will be protected if I choose what God has for me.

In my heart, I am excited, expectant, and know His love. In the same place that Jesus commissioned His disciples, this makes the whole experience very fulfilling as well.

I've really been overcome by peace while I've been here, and all that I've been learning has been useful for people to hear. For example. We have had today off, and I was sitting in the lobby in the hotel, when Julie-anna came through the doors, looking for someone to have lunch with. We went out for lunch at a very nice Deli (all Israeli ingredients!) talking about being in the center of the earth - and where we are from, the ends of the earth. What did we say? I wanted to share something with Julie. I want to be held accountable to all the dreams that I have. I'm kind of unsure, but that's because I'm taking a day at a time, God after all has the final say in the matter, that it's when I share with my friends my dreams that I realize what God has been planning all along. "Don't give up..." persevere. "commit all things to Him" He sees your heart. The reason that He brought me here is to affirm His love.

This is the city of peace, may God's peace be multiplied to you. Jesus can do anything. Did I tell you that God has a gift of leadership? For all our fears, and inadequicies, He says I am a leader and that's what makes all the difference.

I was hoping to be able to share this with you as it happened, God has given me my desire!

YWAM Update: Sorted, and stilled

Hello, Everyone!

The reason, that I'm calling this "Sorted, and stilled" is because I am in the final workings of booking a ticket to goto Jerusalem in a few days! As I write this, it is Sunday, the 24th of July, 2011 in the afternoon, sitting at my parents computer, (who knows where the next update will be coming from?)

This is a good opportunity, to reminisce on the things that are really important. I absolutely loved last night. There are photos here, of the night! I couldn't wait to get them up to show everyone! In fact, It's because of this night that everything has worked out. You see, I had a day to find a way to pay the plane ticket to Israel. But more of that later.

The night began with everyone arriving, with a potluck meal to share together. Because I'm doing a fast I was only able to eat limited food. I went up for thirds! When did that last happen? I can't remember! We still had much food left over afterwards, and most of it has gone back to YWAM to the delight of all our students (that's my guess) To begin with, I was nervous, anxious, and stressed, I let people know that If I didn't speak to them it wasn't because I didn't want to, it's just I have alot on my plate tonight. Where was God??? Haha. He was right there within us. For all the stress the night began with I have no idea how it worked out the way it did. Though I do know (i'm not suggesting I didn't know God was right there) But that's what happens when our minds are racing, and it's our hearts that He is looking at. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations saying "Help! Where is God!" But we know that He is there. It's a mystery. I invite you, yes, I encourage you to be a part of what God is doing. I just happen to be the one that is up here talking, the same could be said of you when you need support.

Peace! rest! I had some nerves while being a part of the night, but I handed over the next part of the evening to Colleen (from Rock Ha Shalom Ministries) and actually got ministered to. You could have fooled me! I thought I was the one -in charge- or better put, the one with the need. We learnt how to do the Grape vine, the Yemenite (sp?) plus what looked like a very good wedding dance. She is very good at teaching, everyone absolutely loved the dancing part.

Well, as I said earlier. I received an email from my travel agent - your ticket is booked. This was yesterday morning. I had a day to pay for the ticket. I prayed about it, because I want to obey God fully and felt I was supposed to entrust it to Him, and see how the night goes. I show up at the evening, and my thoughts are all on How to prepare the meal, talking with the dancers about the order of evening, and maybe even, "I don't know what to say" These have a way to creep up on you. In fact, no one would ever know I had to pay for the ticket before midnight. While the dance went on I was very calm, God made me enjoy what was happening (especially the dancing!) When the night ends, I get a txt from my travel agent, the internet isn't working! oh no! But this morning I got a txt that the whole business was sorted. Now I'm just waiting for our ticket to come through! I'm living the dream baby!

The star of the night is God. Why was I afraid? For all the trusting that I have in Him, He puts me in situations that I am out of my comfort zone, and can't trust. This very well to do night turned into something more than a very good night. It turned into God fellowship with His people, and awe, and fear, and regard, trust, enjoyment, love. I can't be responsible for what happens. He draws out the things He wants from you and places is strong hands around them, turning them into a raging inferno of love. Does not my heart burn within me as He opens the word? The weakness of God is stronger than man's strength, and the foolishness of God is wiser than men's wisdom. And he took the weak and foolish things of the world, to shame the strong and wise.

This just means, the God we serve is faithful, and I want to be like Him.

YWAM Update: Backwards Forwards

Hey there, for another update, from Oxford! (though I'm in Christchurch at the moment, visiting my parents!) I am super excited at the moment though I feel like every step I take I take two backwards. I have really been struggling for the life of me to be victorious over my addiction to video games. If you would like to share in this with me, contact me and I would love to be more honest and open about it. Well, maybe the best way to put it is, I am honest and open about it, but part of victory is confessing to another our faults and allowing the Holy Spirit to not only be victorious, but Ignite in my heart and show God superior to everything.

Orange Peels

I don't do this very often; the last time that I shared about a certain event was the day I went to Porters Ski Resort to go snowboarding.
I've started to eat the white out of the orange peels. It's very good for you! it helps digest the actual orange (the stuff we normally eat) God's made this fruit a delectable gold mine of flavour and nutrition. So if you are thinking about eating orange peels next time, think of this post!

YWAM Update: Follow up

Hi there, everyone!

Coming from Christchurch, NZ on a cold and rainy day. There must be many angels in Heaven pleased with seeing the earth nourished and plants growing today. It's been a while since I sent out an update. So, if you're in Christchurch, or even if you're not, sit down, get a hot drink and enjoy! That sounds like a good idea...

God surprises us

This is part 4 of "Journey to Tauranga" Thanks!

I heard God say, "these are waiting spots for you" - I can't put words to what God has done. Even if i were to tell the whole story it would somehow appear garbled. I have seen friends, I have embraced my family, I have cried out to God because He is worthy, I have been provided for by God Himself.

Journey to Freedom

I can't take the credit for this, I could be anywhere, in a ditch or shivering on the side of the road. My enthusiasm comes from knowing I can encountering God's heart every day regardless where I am. I can't live half-heartedly as if I can have some trading on the side while having a relationship with Him. It's either all or nothing.

Well, Part 3 "Journey to Tauranga" - from Bulls to Rotorua.

The place i set up to today was near the exit of bulls. After two hours of holding out the sign, my ride came! It was immediately after saying "I want a ride to Tauranga" - God was saying. There is no discretion between the two. She took me to Taupo where we parted ways. I played the guitar for the first time, today. Then I decided to put my sign out there, and now I'm in Rotorua. I ahve been paid with unrepayable kindness. That's what I like about kindness. I never want to be paid for it! I know that there is strength in me.

Journey to Tauranga

Here is part 2 of "Journey to Tauranga" Thanks!

I left to go hitchhike. All my feelings were about getting a ride, and how this was a bad spot to hitch hike from (lots of trucks passing by, very fast) when immediately God Provides again. Neville (If you are reading this) Thanks for giving me a lift to picton and your advice! You see, as soon as I my mind wandered i began singing, and the singing was a chorus