Possible next steps

God answers prayer!
Today I found out why the call it good news! it is because it's a straight from the halls of heaven to earth today! that's why they do not call it good teaching or good history

I am, so to speak, laying out a fleece.

I know the importance of sharing all with my friends, and supporters, and family, as to what the next steps are in my rehabilitation. This is why I find the first step, telling you how things are going, to be the most important.

While I have been in hospital, my motivation for doing things has somewhat deteriorated, before hand I had no problem being motivated to goto Israel, and the things that are attached to that.

That is why I am making the first step living by faith.

The only thing I can think of which comes to living like this, has been in my constant travelling around this country, relying on God to provide for my stay. I am excited to see that it is being taken up again.

That said, I have come to the realization that this is not the sole first point to be thinking about. What I have need to think about is the extraordinary calling God has placed on my life to prepare the way for the coming Kingdom of Jesus

This is somewhat inspired in the fact I am growing in this area. There is a scripture in Titus which says to the effect that I will grow as I share what I have with others. So that's what I'm doing here!

Struggles in Hospital

Hello everyone,

I will be moving into a flat on the 5th of November, this will be a big change for me, after being in Hospital for close to 3 months! I believe that it will be a big change that I am glad for, seeing I have made it my goal in life to bear as much fruit as possible - inside of me, in Himself and in you, this is a catchphrase for me at the moment, John 15:16

"You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and [that] your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.

to bear fruit.

I want to share with you some of the struggles I am facing recently, that I believe God is working through.

Sometimes I find that I do not have much desire to spend time with Father, but then I remember it's like keeping up a relationship. I will enjoy the company time if I open up my heart to Him.

My greatest struggle is with hearing God's voice. When I came to hospital, they started asking me questions related to hearing God's voice. But I have a different struggle. It's like when I goto pray I do not hear from Him.

This has happened in kind because there is a kind of suffering related to being tempted and overcome, but I want you to know, I have not been overcome. But I find that God's ways are above mine, and so I wait patiently. Spiritual gifts in this way, seem to go unused, and I am perplexed by the reality, that is I want to hear from Him, but the desire is not there.

I remember that sometimes God remains silent for us, we do not want Him to. As far as I struggle, I also am encountered and challenged by my own thinking, and It has to come, because I am being changed a little at a time, to change my thinking habits. In this time, God's presence and His voice are what I rely on.

This is evident because when I come to talking to others, God confirms His word for me. I know His support in my situation. He is taking up all the things of my situation in His hands. As long as I am in this place, I will be at peace while my circumstance changes. God makes me feel like I can leap over all my perplexities in superior fashion! "He is the one who strengthens me", "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me", "I am more than a conqueror" through Him who loved us.

He is working out all things for good. I had feared that I had changed and lost the ability (Spiritual gifts), that I have changed and will not come back to where I was - knowing that the very thing I ask for will be accomplished. This puts me in a frame of mind that he only is the one who strengthens me.

It is like the verse in Isaiah 54, "lengthen the tent pegs" for the way in which He reassures me is by His Spirit. As long as I talk like this, I am overcoming, and that is enough, He is my peace and rest. The reason I can endure all the things I have is simple, it is because of God's righteousness - He gives me grace to do all things. A part of me thinks, "God will not take up these things that are pressing upon me" but He does, even when I do not come to Him. This makes me reminded of the fact that I want to come and visit Him, it is in my heart - that I love Him. God will work out all righteousness - He will be the strength of my life

As I write, I realize that God is the righteousness of my life, and my recovery has already started. This is what I wake up for in the morning.

 In talking like this, I make it obvious I am in hospital for God. In writing this letter I am stepping out of insecurity into freedom.

Something as simple as responding to an email can become all that is required of me. (Lara! and all the others who have responded to my email)

In fact, while in hospital it has been one of the things that I have been known for - since looking after me has been so delightful. I have a family that love me.

This is the delight of God, I delight in God's glory.

It makes me think of the future from here, in the bible it communicates it like this - Stepping into the fullness of maturity (Eph 3:18.19)

My God is my rock, he is the firm foundation, in entrusting myself to Him, it is out of my hands, and I've learned that this experience can happen to everyone - and this is my reason for seeking help - I am  as capable of making mess ups as anyone else.

I want to inform you so that you can pray for me better. Thank you for being a part of my life and loving me.

Photos of Springtime

Capturing my budding interest of photography, I have been taking some nice shots of Springtime here in the Garden City. If you would like to take a look, click the Link below to take a journey into my life in the last few weeks (or months) Here ya go!

Photos While in Hospital

Spring Showdown

Hello everyone,

Many of you will be asking "where has Nathan gone? we have not heard from him for such a long time" I would like to assure you, that I am still going strong for God, and in fact, finding my prayers answered especially recently, in regard to my family, and friends, and being able to relate to people (many may not know, but I have difficulties in communicating socially, this is something I struggle with regularly)

I am wanting to communicate that I have been in hospital for the last 3 months, first in a place called Pipiri Ward at Hillmorton Hospital, followed by a move to Takahe Ward, and then transferred to Princess Margaret Hospital at a Clinic called Seager. This is where the photos in this post are coming from.

But first off I want to share something that has been on my heart since the beginning of being here. "The Kingdom of Heaven is NOW" We are being confronted by the reality of Jesus return to earth. How can i say this? It is because He has spoken it to me. Afterall, there is a scripture being fulfilled in our very day.

"The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon Me,
Because the LORD has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to [those who are] bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
 That they may be called trees of righteousness,
 The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."

This is a declaration of faith, as much as it is the most important thing in my life right now. I can witness to this. On the day I came to Hospital, was the day that I was diagnosed with psychosis. I want you to know, yes! I want you to be apart of what has been happening to me. It occurs to me, that I have been very unwell, and that I was putting connections in my thoughts that were not there. Let me clarify what I am saying here. In my thoughts I could not put ordinary things together, my thinking was very jumbled in my head. It became very hard for me to tell if I was hearing from God, or if I was just thinking in overdrive. I have been rescued from my own thinking. This has happened rather quickly, and I thank the Lord that it has been the way it has, I also find myself far more excited to conduct normal hobbies and things (I have taken up photography)

If you want to pray for me, I am very much appreciated of this. I want you to know what has been happening for me, so that you can pray more specifically. My goal is to be able to get back into my life as soon as february next year. I also want you to know that I have a possibility of a flat coming up soon, which will be in Barbadoes St in Christchurch. The first photo is Steve Spillane's. I have taken the photos on a Samsung WB150F camera

Brokenness and Leadership

I came to the airport, because while worshipping this morning, I had been stopped! and fear fell on me, to listen! All of a sudden, this picture of Memorial Ave and Graham's Rd came into view. I knew it to be a bus route. "I will catch a bus to the airport" I said

I just want to let you know, the travels today, of my journey with Father and Son

I do know that they do not lead me amiss.

This just comes vividly clear as I think about it now

I came to the airport and thought about what I should do, and met my friend Steve, sitting just inside the doorway. I shared the story of receiving a picture, and coming here, believing it to be from Him

This is why, I can currently recall the events, without getting emotional

I was a little afraid as I sat down in the arrivals lounge, thinking about this one thing, being in Israel. God and I had a conversation together about what it would take to get on board an aeroplane, when I realized "If they have a ticket booked for me, it ought to be on the systems" so I decided to head on over to Emirates, where I handed my passport to them, made a search for today, and tomorrow, and found out that there was no booking for me on this passport.

It was a bit harder than the way that I put it, because I hadn't made a booking, I didn't have a travel agent, and I didn't have someone else, that booked the flight for me. I was going off God and His booking me on a flight

I went back to sit down in the arrival lounge, (a place I came back to alot) and thought about what had happened, and then made the connection between what God had showed me and my now present circumstance. I saw a courtroom scene, with Jesus as King, preciding over the plaintaints

declaring "No one who says this will not happen will stand" - that He was bringing justice to this purpose

God's word, his authority, and his ability will stand, everything he does, no one knows, who knows what He is about to do?

Here stood in parallel to this scene what I now had facing before me - simply to walk up to the counter, say

"I have a booking with God by prayer
I know about authority and that His booking would be on your system if He had made a booking
I know that he opens doors that no one can shut"

So I did not

I recognise that I'm not ready - in two ways, my love, and conviction of His authority.

God do what you are doing, I am walking with you