Because even though I'm enjoying God's sabbath day today, and do not need to say or do anything, the urge to give up everything to Him is making me want to make the most of this opportunity by riding the rollercoaster and getting to the end.
So, the page turns over and I'm once again asked a question. "What do you mean by 'my weaknesses are played against my strengths'?" I'm really having to take time to answer that question. I'm feeling a delayed reaction when realizing my family, the AW80 school, have left to go on outreach, they are no longer here to be with. Also the enemy is speaking through some words spoken that say "you can't be emotional" So when I heard that, Immediately I went up to the prayer room and started playing the song of the Lord. This one is about how my Savior died upon a cross, and was forsaken of the Father. Because He loves me. That assures me that his emotions are real, and that God is the chief of emotions. You can't seperate emotions from the heart, when it says "love the Lord your God with your heart" it's meaning your emotions. And you can't seperate the mind from the heart either, this is the whole person here, I may as well be leaping with all my might and dancing before the Lord.
The weakness is actually where God wants me to be. The hardness of my heart will melt away in the revelation of the Love of God. That of my fear, and other things this is my weakness. But lo, and behold! I am speaking about it! Strength is where your focus is, where your strength is, that will be your focus. I choose to make my strength my heart because God loves me. This strength is something I can't put words to. Because to be a Son of God! that means He loves me!
In 1 Samuel 30 there is also a verse. David exists in compromise for 16 months in Ziklag, a Philistine city. But while he is there is not exactly truthful - fighting the enemies of Judah, but lying to Achish about it. He lives in this compromise. At the end the town where he is staying is burned to the ground and his wives and all the families are taken away captive. 1 Samuel 30:6 says this:
"Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters."
Then it goes onto say:
"But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God."
this gives me great confidence because I see that David has made the same his strength.
Yeah, there's the traditional way of looking at it, When He says "Love the LORD your God, with all your strength" it's talking about the doing. But where you put your strength is what you will focus on. The responsibility of answering prayer does not fall on me, the kind of love that God is asking for is volitional love, because my weakness is voluntary, I've decided to love God. And that's the kind of love that God is asking for. volitional - of the will. He loves to love me. Well, the response that i used to believe about strength. I used to be paralyzed in my emotions because I thought I had to show them. But i've been healed of that! why should I act that way any longer? to be talking on this subject is like a miracle, because it's the last thing I ever thought I would be talking on or giving advice for.
This really is the beginning of a far better relationship, where my asking will never weary Him not in a billion years! I realized that even if I don't know what I'm trying to say, God actually knows what I want to say! to Him anyway! He knows what I'm thinking, He has perfect knowledge of me. I don't even need to do anything, because it's his delight to save me. But if I ask, my prayers are heard. What joy that He lives inside me! I'm free to be who I am, and He is free to be who He is. The reason my prayers can be addressed to Him like this, is because I know Him, and I want to know Him. To want to know Him presupposes that I have a relationship with Him. That means that there's no expectation to say anything!
This process of committing the deepest things of my self to Him is what allows Him to break into my situations and give the perfect answers. I look forward to hearing stories of how God with His emotions relate to you and you relate to Him with his emotions.
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