A brief and needed update

I am calling this new season in my life "Plans and Provisions"
I have recently applied for a School overseas where we would learn how to take the gospel to nations that have not heard his name. It actually made me feel rather excited, God's leading, his plans and His provision. But it was not so. I have not been accepted.

This makes me think about what has happened lately.
I am in the process of writing out a formal draft of "my signs of wellness" - what things indicate that things are going well for me, and making my plans, i hope to share them with you.

The first is being able to be myself around my friends and family. Tick! this has been accomplished.
The second is growing in my relationship with God. Tick! I am in the process of finding out how I am a Son of God.
I have found out that I have quite an interest in taking photos, and sharing them with my friends and family. Though I have not done this for a while (I haven't had an experience where I have wanted to take photos yet) I did go down to the lake at Jelly Park last week to admire the birds, the water, and the flowers, while my friend Steve used his new camera to take photos of those things.

But I guess the greatest and most needed one has been in my walk with God. I have a new faith in God. God has a plan for me. This makes me think about the last few months and how God has lead me. As a good friend of mine said, "it is very wise, to return to your relationship with God" - his plan is a good plan for me, and one that cannot be stopped. As I shared with my Psychiatrist, something that is very important for us christians is not necessarily the destination, but the journey. This is why being in a place of not knowing I can rest, and that is what God wants me to do, REST. Return to Him.

I've realized that I've turned aside from the simple devotion of being God's child.

This is something that I realized while watching Joseph Prince's sermon on grace on Shine TV.

"Abba!" Daddy!

In fact if I am doing prayer out of an obligation to spend time with Him (I know that I am confused by this- Surely it comes from loving Him, not from obligation)

Then I may as well stop. Daddy, I am on His knee. He loves me, and I love Him, for I am adopted as a Son. There's not much a child can do, It's that simple devotion that leads me to have faith in Him. Yes, that's right! He wants me to know, not just in my mind, but EXPERIENCE his love.

That way whatever he has planned for me, I am about His love. I rest content in this love.

I am thinking about what it means to live Christ.

One area that I am growing in is financial responsibility. Having wisdom to spend my finances on what actually matters. This I need to share with everyone that I know! In fact, I imagine that my daddy is wanting me to be just like Him in this respect. He has no limits, so neither should I, especially when it comes to the thing He most talked about while He was here on earth. It is a peculiar thing, that is why It brings glory to Him.

I may as well say that I am currently in a position to give. I guess this is how the family works - It's us that need to show where our heart lies by being stewards of what is in the pocket. This reminds me of my time being at YWAM. The irony is that I never had any money there, I wanted to share, but that didn't help me. It only happens when we actually have seed to sow.

If you wanted to know the journey that I've been on, I guess that all I need to share with you is the insight that I have already laid before You.

It includes being at REST with him as I said earlier. I believe God gives dreams and plans to everyone. It's not just the leaders at church - He wants everyone to use their talents.

What it really comes down to is that God does not keep a tight rein on his finances, He gives. He demonstrated this to us by giving his only Son, the most precious one of his heart, to us.

So whatever this season may bring (I am equally as excited as having Faith in Him - not having all the answers but having a burning heart that brings glory to his name) I am prospering and causing my seed to grow. And I have an audience to share this with. I actually have a dream, it is to see a generation caught by the fire of God's love for the world and even to admit, that maybe our hearts are not as desiring as they should be - realizing that the one who said "The Lord is not slack in his promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance" Actually has a bigger heart for the lost than we do. Longsuffering. Know that without God, there would be no salvation, he brought it to us at the first, and now looks to us -with His power - to accomplish the word that He speaks to us.

I did not quite finish the dream that I have - that the nations of the earth might cry out "Glory! Worthy!" to the one who redeemed us by His blood.

I leave that with You

Please pray for me, that GOd would continue to lead and guide me, and show me the glory that is surpassing all knowledge.

Also that as a child I would cry out "daddy!" to my Heavenly Father