Solitude and Community

I am actually borrowing this title from another. But that's what community is about, right? Let me, tell you, the concept of Christian Community is so freeing! I will be sharing a story of this, as well as Just let people know, I FIND READING THE BIBLE more enjoyable than going and playing Video Games. Anyone that is struggling, believe it! There really is greater pleasure in God than in anything that you can get from this world! Also, Jesus, you've done it, you've overcome, you've done it! I am free!

Firstly, the concept of Christian Community is so freeing, He gives you choice! He gives you choice! it comes from the absolute superior pleasure of God being shared with one another. And I'm invincible! there's no slavery to anything! That you can speak up because you're listened to, and not need to gain approval from others, because they receive you. At the source is pleasure in God, absolute solitude.

For this is what happened. When I got to church the preacher started preaching and the first thing He said was "Adversity can break some people, or cause others to break records" my being shuddered at the thought that adversity might break me. Then I forgot about it. Then after the services, I said "I want prayer"... and let Him know what Just happened. He prayed for me and while He prayed I was healed of fear. But what fear? In fact, I had been thinking so much about my responsibilities and commitments, I was thinking inside about getting back to Oxford, to keep my commitment to pray for Israel at 6 oclock, for I had also asked someone If they would pray with me. But I was really saying "you should give up your dinner. count the cost!" there's no gain unless there's pain.

You see, I was walking home and the information was spilling over, and had to sit down and people were walking by at the park bench, I felt like saying "I am completely free, and you need this freedom, because my God loves me!" - and that's all. How can I add to that? how can I put others under a yoke of bondage when It's all about Him, and I can't force Him to do anything? I can ask Him! The thought occured to me, maybe God had wanted me to get healed from this because I was the one needing healing. It wasn't a problem in other people after all. Get rid of the word commitment from your dictionary, as Christians we don't commit to anything. Forbid that I should boast in anything except in Christ, whom I was crucified to the world! My greatest commitment is slavery and humiliation. it's weakness, it's pain, it's suffering, it's foolishness, and all these things I count as worth it! because love will never need a reward to give up everything for the sake of love. I may commit to something, but it's only so that I can know Jesus more!

In fact, the scales on my eyes have fallen off, I will not put them on again! I want to enjoy peoples company, I don't want to have to look at my watch all the time thinking I have to be somewhere. I don't want to make a commitment which means I can't spend time with the ones I love! Isn't freedom really savouring? This freedom is love. Like I said and this Fear is Slavery, it was a fear of obeying. I couldn't obey Him completely with a heart that boasts in the commitment.

But I didn't know, how could I know, and it's always God that is the victor, He's always the one that gets the credit for it! like today, How could I get the credit for going to my bible and realizing that I enjoy it, and knowing that God had been victorious in getting me a ticket to Israel. This is about my heart being tenderized by freedom and love. This is about whole-hearted love from Father that is not surprised by our weakness.

Earlier in the week I decided it was best to keep it silent, because I wanted to hear from Daddy. But it was supposed to come out and was meant to come out, I can't keep silent! This community exists! I'm surrounded by this community. It pervades everything of the Godhead. Why would I not want to spend my days in eternal bliss meditating on His excellence, and even if I come up short, that's because He's too big.

Maybe that's not a perfect exegesis of the verse but it doesn't matter. He doesn't want perfection from me. He wants liberty. I don't have to do anything! there's no expectation. But all things work together for good to those who love Him. There is also pain in my heart because of the broken cisterns we drink from.

And a divine jealousy in my heart to present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. It's our obedience which fuels the hours of not-knowing, waiting, hunger, emptiness, God knows that I am telling the truth. My beloved will not relent until everything is His. That just serves to confirm to me that where I am going there is glorious reward for my obedience. And that we will all get there together. So don't cling onto your broken, vaunted definitions of what you think community is. It will only bring hurt and slavery. Great Condemnation is the word He uses to describe how hopeless we are without Him, and making himself the only solution. (John 3:16-21)