Mission Update: On the couch with Nathan

I must apologize, that there are no pictures with this update. Maybe the contents of this letter will explain why. I'm just entering a season in which the things of my heart are laid bare.

I've been in a very good place recently. The natural thing to say would be to tell you what has been going on. Well a lot has been happening. I've been excited to make plans to goto America for a friend's wedding. Maybe I should have let them know that this was the case. The way that it happened was during a talk with Father (I have been calling Him Father ever since I started talking to Him like I talk with a friend)

This is why when I came to hear Him say that he was interested to know what was happening about the trip I was planning on taking to America, that I reminded Him that He had to give me permission first. This is exactly what He did. He gave the green light, and ever since, I've been doing as He says, as a good obedient Son. what makes me so wanting to obey Him, hear His voice and speak what He says? It's because I'm truly waiting on Him.

Have you ever had that happen to you before? when you found yourself far more close to God than you've ever been before? that is what happened for me. then I started obeying. At first it was very exciting, but then it became different. That's what happens when you trust in others and let them know what is on your heart - you are impacted by what they choose. So regardless of their decisions, I went forward. So this took about a week. At the end of the week I did not have the finances that I was looking for, so I took it to Father. He reminded me that he's never failed me. He reminded me that just because it happens, doesn't make it over. This agreed with the first time I went to the travel agent - I needed to get the finances in a week. The tickets were being held for me, so I prayed "Father, would you direct me in your paths, and show to me that I am doing as You say" as I walked out of the travel agent, I remembered a scripture from Matthew 17.

"Peter and Jesus were needing tax money to pay the tax collectors" that means that God wants to open the mouth of a fish and provide for me and Him to go. Isn't that cool?

how does this fit in with how I would approach the travel agent? I cancelled my ticket to America, because I didn't know how I was going to get the money. It was then that I received another verse, that is quite peculiar. It is from Matthew 19

"in regard to marriage Jesus gave an illustration to which He makes the point" so I'm a eunuch for the Kingdom of Heavens sake. every week I've been getting more intimate with the Father and unable to continue without feeling the greatest expression of thankfulness because of his kindness. It's true that I'm still believing that I'll go to America but everything is in his hands.

Why do I want to tell this? it's because I think the most authentic and real displays of faith are expressed when we do not know what is happening. If I had to do this all over again, would I do it differently? My friend Steve was also in a similar position as me. He had to find tickets, and visas, to be able to get a visa to get to Israel. this happened just last week, and he's going to Israel! Congratulations Steve!

So I wouldn't ask for it any other way. I'm in the process of making decisions about my future (and especially in regard to not being able to see Steve for another 6-12 months) we're heading to the airport tomorrow morning to see him off.

There's many things that are on my mind, that for some reason don't seem that important right now. I have been given a clean slate, and a chance to do things better this time round. You have been with me for the past 4 years (some of you) and my Father in Heaven wants you to know that I'm recommitting myself to you once again. I've had the pleasure and opportunity to walk with some of you in ways I haven't with others of you. He's shown me that the vows and things that I said, way back when, were actually honoured. Some of you I will journey with until the skies are rent and Jesus Christ comes on the clouds of Heaven. That is something that is still in my heart.

I'll give you some time to process what I'm saying and would really like to dialogue with you about this.

I will let you be the judges of what I'm saying. if I can laugh about this, then there's hope for us yet! you're part of i think one of the most pivotal times of my life, which I'm only just beginning to return to. Did you know that the Father gave me a clean slate this morning? he did this by correcting me. I had become a person entirely foreign to the person that I was in 2010. I would love to talk with you guys that have walked with me since then. It would take some further clarification of things? this is because I gave my heart and life to Jesus Christ in 2009 when I was at YWAM. Through the past few years I've forgotten that. and I dismissed the things that had happened without thinking about it. God knows that I'm speaking the truth. This is a walk of faith and it's all about trusting in Him and getting to know Him. this is why I have been able to say "I've made mistakes" in regard to the singularity with which is needed to enter into what God has called each of us to.

I've been praying for each of you, and will continue to pray, because that is the only thing that will see you released into all that the Father has for you. it's this rekindling of former promises in God that will see me and you have no regrets. He once said to me, "the absence of doubt is the key to finding true fulfilment in me"

In the First Watch (I will be ready)

This is inspired from Luke 12 (about being rich toward God, about having intimacy with Him, and about the end of the age) we have yet to uncover the depths of Jesus service. He knows from experience and can address the issues of the generation. Namely, this kind of shallow understanding of the end of the age, and believing "we can be ready" without actually knowing Him. It was never His intention to let the bride of His heart get to the end of the race and for Him not to be with Her. It all comes together in love. it is because he wishes for us to be set aflame with his love that he can say "I am distressed till it is accomplished" yet accomplishment? yet that the world may want His return and show it by the acts of obedience they will do in His name, such that we can say "a greater than Solomon was here" - that He might be placed in the appropriate place as the one that captains our hearts.

Also, it's because we live out the message that we can actually, obey and speak His words and that they want more because this is life. This is real.

In the First Watch (I will be ready)

If you will use this song, just let me know before hand, copyright Nathan Sinclair 2014, all rights reserved.

I WIll Worship

This is that song that got away. Hope it is a blessing to you (with thoughts on what has happened for me in the last 2 years) I actually wrote this before I came to hospital. It seems it was actually prophetic.

I Will Worship

(Copyright Nathan Sinclair 2014, All rights reserved. Feel free to make use of the song just make sure you mention me and let me know you're using it)